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HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY
Your ad is getting lots of responses, great! When it comes time to meet face to face, you don't want to be apologizing or making excuses for the untruths that you told. Honesty attracts honest people. Stick with your instincts too. If you feel that who you are writing and chatting to isn't being truthful, bail out while the waves are still small. |
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Give 'em a Body Check:
When to people are really making a connection, their bodies line up (toe to toe, heart to heart, face to face) and they tend to mimic each other's gestures and voice levels. Which means if your date is soft-spoken and you're a shake-the-walls loudmouth, you'll both instinctively feel that something is a bit off-kilter. |
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This is where you get the myth that jerks succeed best with women, because they are so indifferent (or even cruel) and thus clearly not trying.
And jerks do yield SOME results with this approach. They are exhibiting at least one crucial component of being cool: Not trying so hard. And (in this culture) that conveys self-worth, since women interpret the lack of effort to imply that he must have value,- and that he is so secure with that knowledge he doesn’t have to try hard to get women. As if women already know that he is valuable, that it’s obvious. But let me tell you something: A jerk with a boring personality will not get NEARLY as far with women as a guy who both doesn’t kiss up AND who ALSO has an EXCITING personality, a PLAYFUL personality, or any other DEEPLY INTERESTING personality. And you don’t have to be a jerk to not KISS UP to a woman as if you were inferior. So how do you convey massive intrinsic value without making it look like you are trying? |
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